The amusing things people say...


Below are some of the things people say, they are not intending to be funny when they say them.... but in a nice way they are quite amusing.

Currently there are a lot of customers asking where I live, which is also amusing as it's not my house that's having the work!

I hope you enjoy reading them and I will add more as they come.

"Have you got a minute to put up a quick mirror"

"The toilet won't flush, do you think it's faulty?"

"My husband's useless"

"What do you need my address for?"

"It only needs 4 screws putting in, how long can that take"

"Can you come right now and fix it?"

"Oh Wow..... I actually didn't think you would be able to do it"

"It's a really simple job"

"I could do it myself but I thought I'd call you"

"Would you like a cup of tea or something hotter?"

"It's only a ten minute job"

"It's only a two minute job"

"It looks easy, I'm sure it shouldn't take you more than a minute to do it"

"It just fell off the wall on it's own, can you nail it back on?"

"My wife tries to do all the DIY in this house, that's why I've called you"

"Can't you just stick it on with super glue?"

"DIY to me means Don't Involve Yourself"

"How would you like me to pay you"

"Some of the parts are missing, is that a problem?"

"I rang you because I just haven't got a clue"

"I'm on the 18th floor and the lift isn't working"

"Have you got a big spanner?"

"I don't know when you will be able to do it, I'm never in"

"How long will it take you to find the leak and fix it"

"I've got no money but I could make you a sandwich"

"DIY is easy.... I just dial your number"

"I need a new lock putting on, when it sticks I have to kick the door in"

"6 plumbers couldn't fix it, how did you do it? You're not even a plumber"

"I've got a damp patch in the bedroom"

"Oh I thought you'd be a retired old bloke with a flat cap and a pipe"

"I've locked myself out can you come now and open the door"

"Can you come when I'm there but I'm at work from 8 am to 8 pm"

"The bed is broken so my boyfriend has to be very gentle when he gets in"

"If I had a drill, I would do it myself"

"The cheque is in the post"


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